A Grammarian Girl

“What’s in a name? That which we call a Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  Shakespeare wrote these lines about five centuries ago. The essence of this dialogue lies in the fact of equality amongst peers; that an individual’s family recognition and generations of the past are not of any importance as it is what is within that counts. A rose would still have the perfect scent even if the world did call it something else. A name is just a name. Or is it?

I am, of course, talking about the word ‘Grammarian’. Why is it that Lahore never gets to hear the end of being a blue blooded grammarian? Why is it that a Grammarian Girl lives under some kind of spell of acknowledgement that she is better than everyone else? After a lot of consideration, I’ve come to realize that she justtt might be.

Since I am an Army Brat and have changed more schools than I can count (okay, even being an Army Brat the changes were only in Lahore), I can sincerely give the most unbiased opinion on the matter. The many schools have ranged from public ones of the common sector to the elite range so yes; I’ve had a whiff of almost everything.

But Grammarian Girls I tell you are entirely another species. There might be hundreds and thousands of them walking all around the planet but they are all made from the same voodoo magic cooked up around all the branches of Lahore. There are three main branches in this hustling city. It’s a wonder how they manage to produce the same substance every single year.

So what exactly is it that sets her apart…?

She outshines in Public Gatherings.
Even if she does not say a word the entire evening and is huddled up in herself transfixed on a mobile screen, you can spot the words burning on her forehead. It’s not really about what they say or don’t say, as most people confuse it to be an attitude they behold. It’s about how they are, how they carry themselves.

It’s either “I hate her!” or “Hey, she’s a Grammarian!”
Her girly allegiance to her counterparts is incredulously misguided or strangely familial. It might make you laugh your head off. It’s like she has formed a kin compound of her own. She can say anything she wants about her ‘enemy grammarian’ and would probably be glad if her friends or even unknown classmates join in but if an –outsider- says something…You will get to hear a shower of compliments about that poor enemy which you probably never have heard before (and never will again either if you get what i mean).
Where else do you see such weird loyalty?

She doesn’t talk. She’s talked to.
It’s just a natural instinct they all develop sometime during their upbringing. I’ve always wondered whether it is social ineptness or lack of conversation skills on their part that leads to their silent demeanor. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it is an air of importance they carry and exhume that leads to this. They don’t want to initiate (Anything really). And surprisingly, it doesn’t seem pretentious at all.
It used to be an extremely negative point but after being pushed into endless pointless discussions with people who talk all.the.time, I’ve started to think positively about their quiet atmosphere.

She handles herself well with the boys.
I have absolutely no idea how a grammarian girl manages to do that. But she does it. Considering that her only solid encounter begins during her university life and we all consensually agree that the nonsense tuition meets do not count, she remains well within her boundaries but is still good friends and the boys too stay behind theirs.
Now this point would raise a lot of eyebrows as a grammarian girl image considering this matter is not…well…very nice. And I agree with that too. There are certain ones who are all out of their senses to be honest but that is a small crowd. What antics they get into is perhaps more entertaining to the Lahori society is why they get so much fame. But they are few in number, can be and should be ignored. There are black sheep in every family.

She’s insignificant behind the red bricks.
It’s a funny thing. Her walls only go down in the comfort of her own home or the vicinity of her beloved school. It’s like she’s in her element.
In classes, during break, grammarian girls will show the laughing, bubbling personalities that they have that they usually prefer to show only to those who know them best. Their sophistication will either mingle together and become less obvious or they won’t have to uphold that stiff upper neck (pride) that I something think is fed into their food.
In co-schools or other all-girls, all everybody tries to do is become more popular, try to fit in or form agendas that are not worth writing about. She does not need to do that. Despite the friendly competition, she will not treat her equals inferiorly and neither does she want to.

Backgrounds do not really matter.
In various schools, the concept of division by old money and status has really centered in. It doesn’t work that way for her. There are people whose pockets aren’t that full but once you’ve adorned the white shirt and checked sash, it’s all the same to her. She won’t look beyond that.

The variety never ends.
It will be hard, or nearly impossible to come across such diversified personalities all originating from the same place. Don’t get me wrong, they will have similar qualities and habits but they are not robots. Farrr from it. There will be singers, charity workers, actors, athletes, musicians, writers, nerds, models, engineers, doctors, economists, scientists, philosophers, bankers, manipulators (could make brilliant politicians if they tried), debaters and what not. The list is endless.
They’re all over, doing unbelievable things.

She is very practical.
Even though she has minimum interaction with the outside world (in other words, she has only spoken to seven people till the age of seventeen), she will be aware of the realities of life more than anyone else. She will be sad, but it will not get her down. She will be surprised or disappointed but she will not make that same mistake again. She will not let any tragedy control or mould her life. She dreams and flies but is very in touch with the ground.

She’s not as clever and mean as you think.
A grammarian girl is actually very shy. That is also one of the reasons why she will never walk over and talk to you. And she’s not as clever as you might think. When it was my first day as a grammarian, it was terrifying. I had already imagined almost everybody to be like the Mean Girls, scheming and plotting in silent voices. I only saw teenagers rushing about, glad to see each other after the summer; Giggles erupting from every corner, loud voices bouncing off the walls and the screeching of chairs being dragged so that the reunion could happen with furniture. I had never been more relieved my entire life. I had never been more relieved at being wrong my entire life.

She makes an amazing friend.
I’ve been to different schools, made friends with different people. I’ve encountered some of the most brilliant people and some of the worst ones. But none have so far measured up to the way that they uphold friendship. I have never encountered more loyal, caring and trustworthy girls. As Dashboard Confessional puts it –Best one of the best ones-. After changing five schools in a span of twelve years and university included, it is not a mere coincidence that my best friends are grammarian girls.

And She dresses well!
It’s like what was said to Dumbledore. “You can disagree with *A Grammarian Girl* on many counts but you’ve got to admit She’s got style.” I’ve always appreciated well-dressed people. It’s nice.

I am a half-blood grammarian. Oh wait, I don’t think I mentioned this before. Here you go:

Pure-blood: From K.G or Class 1 onwards.
Half-blood: Anytime before A levels.
Mud-blood: Only A levels.

Ah yes, she does discriminate. But then again, I never said she was perfect. There are vices found in everyone. But they do not prove to be an eclipse to her qualities. They can be overlooked which is not true for other people from different schools. Their bad points are rarely overshadowed. And that, as we say in fine literature, makes all the difference.
Shakespeare was slightly incorrect in saying that a name is trivial. His meaning was not entirely the one that I take it to be but a name does hold some sort of value and honor; A given name, a family name, an institutional name. I am merely saying…and this is not a thought I am very fond of divulging (for personal reasons)…I agree that they are probably the best girls around.


14 thoughts on “A Grammarian Girl

  1. Rushaan

    Every word of this piece is true but sad. I can’t see how you guys find pride in all that made-up glamour described above. “She doesn’t talk, she’s talked to”. Where is the pride in being a stuckhead? I happened to be a mudblood, but starting to read this made me regret that fact. Just reading the first paragraph gave birth to such pity in me that I had to comment. You are right. Grammarians stand out, but try meeting a Conventarian for a change. You’ll instantly be able to tell who’s on which end of the pole 🙂

  2. 295

    Now you’re just giving rise to stereotypes and generalizing. A lot of this stuff might be true and grammarians may feel good reading this or relate to it but you’re just adding to the social stigma. This is only gonna make people view grammarians in a more negative light than before because you’re not only accepting that there is a grammarian clique but also enhancing it.

  3. Attiya

    Respectfully, this is such a load of self gratifying rubbish. And I have had 13yrs of first hand experience to be able to say this. Incidentally, did they pay you to write this?!

  4. muneeb ahmed

    love the article . NO by stander can really know what its like to be a grammarian. Call me pompous, but when ur a part of this crowd, everyone else is a gentile :p . these 8 ladies(the directors of LGS) are what stands between the chawal mullah of the country and the rest of us. i know THIS article was for the girl grammarians, but they know very well that their parties wouldnt be parties if it werent for jt 😉 . LGS taught me that sky is the limit. n that if it cant be fun, whats the point! #gentlemenofjt

  5. mash

    Then why is it so negative image all over lhr? 99% people didn’t suggest me LGS wen I asked since im researching schools for my daughter in.lhr. suggestions would be appreciated?

  6. Pingback: A Grammarian Girl | Potpourri

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